June 29, 2011

wifely wednesday: go read a book

I nearly left my husband once.

It wasn't like I just got bored, or fell out of love, or anything like that. No, I had a very specific reason. A very specific hurt. Without going into personal details, I'll just say I reached the point where I had to make a decision: do I stay or do I go?

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary. Needless to say, I stayed. And for the most part I've been very happy with my decision. Although there were a few moments when I was birthing my children that I may have thought otherwise. But now, after the pain of childbirth is over, I'm happy with the decision I made and the life that has followed. 

Getting back to the leaving my husband thing though - we had an older, wiser couple who really helped us through this dark time in our marriage. They had been through the same thing, had the same hurt, and made the same decision. I'll pause here and say if you're having marriage troubles in any way, you might greatly benefit from your own older, wiser couple to mentor you and your spouse. If you don't know any older, wiser couples that you feel comfortable talking to, I suggest praying about it. A local church might be a good place to find one, or parents of a friend, a friend of the family. The most important things are that 1. You trust that they respect you and will keep your interactions private between you and them. And 2. They are supportive of your marriage surviving the hurdle you're facing and will be a source of encouragement. 

One thing this couple did for us - and that I'm going to give to you (well, give the recommendation to you) - is give us a book. And very specific instructions along with it. The book was "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. The instructions - to read the book together. It seemed weird and totally awkward at first, but soon we were both engrossed in the story and it got easier to read aloud and be read to as we went. 

We benefited in 2 very specific ways by this activity. We became closer together by the mere activity of reading together and spending the time together and doing the same thing together, and we also benefited from the story. I believe you will also benefit in these ways. Reading together is a great habit to get into. After you finish this story, you can read others by her - she's a fantastic author and has may wonderful stories. You can read other authors together. You can read the Bible together. I recommend starting with "Redeeming Love" though.

Go read a book:
20+ minutes a day


Abi said...

It is indeed one of the wonderful things that my husband and I do together as well. Another tool was a regular date. We didn't often spend anything, exchanging sitting with another couple for their dates as well. And we would just go walking together. Just that time of togethreness is so very important. Thanks for the reminder, and the good advice. Cheers!

Kelli Jean said...

appreciate your advice. Before we got married, we'd read together. After, not at all... Hmmm... We need to do that :) Like your writing :)

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