October 28, 2011

we did it

Today, I nursed my baby. 2 oz, to be exact.

We went down to the lactation consultant's office and it was like riding a bike - he just latched right on and took off.

Then we got home...

...and he doesn't seem to want to do it again. :/ humph. It's going to be a work in progress for a while I guess.

But, after being dry for 4 weeks, we nursed. It is possible. :)
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October 26, 2011

I'm a cow

Milk making day 3:
Yesterday I started pumping and got a half oz combined. Today I didn't pump nearly as much as I would have liked, but I got an ounce combined! Moving in the right direction!!!
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October 25, 2011

make it monday: milk

I have not made anything in over a month, I'll be honest.

Between all the recovery, nausea, issues, etc. I've had over the last 5 weeks, I just plum haven't had the time or energy. I thought about abandoning my blog altogether, cause I'm not sure there's anyone actually reading it anymore, but... I'm still on a journey and that's what this blog is about - my journey as a sahm to my dear Millie and Sam (who is 4 months already!).

Today my journey will take another turn - the concept is called "re-lactation" on kellymom.com. I'm going to try to get my milk back.

The process is simple - in theory. I'm going to be taking a medication to get it jump started, some supplements, and I'm going to be pumping often - and lots of skin-to-skin contact. Once I've got the milk coming, the task of teaching Sam to nurse again will begin. I am not a fast-flow bottle. This, I believe, will be the biggest challenge (as long as my milk does come back in).

Step one: get prescription meds - check
Step two: get out supplements - check
Step three: get pump out - check
Step 4: start meds and supplements - check
Step 5: begin pumping - starting today!
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October 23, 2011

five weeks

Week 1
Monday September 19 – pre-op appointments.
Meet with a PA and PT. Find out surgery time. 7:30 am. Must check in at 5:30 I weigh in at 143.
Tuesday, September 20 – surgery day.
Wednesday, September 21 – therapy day.
            PT has me out of bed and standing for a bit. Fighting severe nausea.
Thursday, September 22 – therapy day.
Still fighting nausea. PT gets me up and walking. I get a shower for the first time since Tuesday morning. Bliss. I’m disconnected from the pain killer pump.
Friday, September 23 – discharge day.
            I learn how to maneuver the stairs and basic independent living how-to’s.
Saturday, September 24 – first home day
Mom arrives. I am heavily medicated.

Week 2
Sunday, September 25 – home day
            More heavy medication.
Monday, September 26 – home day.
            More heavy medication.
Tuesday, September 27 – ambulance ride
            My first outing. MIL and I take Sam to Urgent care. He has thrush.
Having not had a BM since my surgery, I take some things to get the ball rolling. This results in me pretty much collapsing on the toilet. An ambulance arrives, picks me up and hauls me away. I am admitted to the hospital after blood counts show I had less than half the blood I’m supposed to. I get 2 units throughout the night.
Wednesday, September 28 – hospital day
            Boring, unproductive and medicated day.
Thursday, September 29 – home again.
I am given another shower. The funny motherly Hispanic CNA strips me and gives me a scrubbing. Awkward but refreshing. After a visit from PT and more blood draws, I am cleared to go home.
Friday, September 30 – post-op.
I take my first solo shower. I feel oddly alone. Oh, this is called privacy, that’s right. Another trip to OHSU. Meet with PA. I weigh in at 137.
Saturday, October 1 – bye-bye mom.
            Mom leaves. Samuel has decided he doesn’t want to nurse anymore after all this time on the bottle.

Week 3
Sunday, October 2 – walking.
I take a few steps today without holding onto anything. A little pain but not bad. I get a little better at it throughout the week.
Monday – Friday (3-7)
Normal home stuff. MIL is home this week to watch over the kids. I get out to the store with FIL once (Wed) to get some needed items for the kids – and get my first lesson in motorized carts. I go a full week until having another BM.
Saturday, October 8 – outing.
My first big outing – the zoo. On our way we pick up different pain killers in hopes of me not being so fuzzy headed and constipated. At the zoo, I’m wheeled around in a wheelchair by various members of the family.

Week 4
Sunday, October 9 – homecoming.
Today we make the drive back to Medford. The kids are cranky, I am sore, and the drive seemed to take forever. But, we make it in one piece.
Monday-Friday (10-14) – the deluge of help begins
Thanks to a couple of amazing ladies, there are women scheduled to be here to help me and the children from 8-4:30 every day. Not only that, but suppers are brought each night. Blessings are flowing! Friday I begin home PT. I’m still not having regular or normal BMs.
Saturday, October 15 – church day.
We make it to church today. Lovely outing. Then home, leftovers from throughout the week, and brownies. Package from Naturopathic Dr arrives.

Week 5
Sunday, October 16 – normal day.
It almost feels like a normal Sunday around the house. Only I’m around the sofa mostly. I start the natural pain relievers and cut off all other meds in hopes my head and digestive system can clear out.
Monday, October 17 – natural day.
First day with just natural stuff. Seems to be ok… This week there is another deluge of daily help and suppers this week.
Tuesday, October 18 – meet the wall.
I kind of hit a wall. And melt down. With the drugs totally out of my system I find the natural remedy doesn’t cut the pain much at all. I fight through it until I can’t handle the pain anymore and try small doses of the narcotics. They don’t work quickly. I spend most of the day in a crying funk. I am totally nauseated from using the bathroom.
I have home PT and start using my cane.
Wednesday, October 19 – more funk.
I have to stop breaking the pills in half and take a whole. This is still less than I was taking. Hoping to find a balance. Again I spend the day nauseated and crying.
Thursday, October 20 – light day.
This morning starts as the last 2 did. More tears. I decide to take a shower, and had an unexpected but much needed chat with God. It went a little like this:
Me: “God, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t even stand up… I don’t have an ounce of strength left.”
God: “I am very strong.”
Me: “I’m not. I’m so weak.”
God: “I can give you strength.”
Me: “But I’m so weak, Lord.”
God: “Do you trust me?”
Me: “Yes.”
God: “Then stop crying and start trusting. I’ve got this.”
Then I get out of the shower and move on. One day at a time. I suddenly feel refreshed and energized. He’s got this. My PT comes and says I am doing betting than I should be for how weak my muscles are. He’s got this.
Friday, October 21 – good day.
I wake up strong. I can do anything. I’m no longer relying on my own strength, so there’s not much I can’t do. I’m walking stronger and feeling more confident. I seem to have found a nice balance with my meds. I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.
Saturday, October 22 – church day.
We get relatively good sleep (the toddler has been sick with a cold all week). Then to church and later to a friend’s house for supper and a visit. 
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