nice to meet you, i'm mrs. grumpypants

I asked my Facebook fans (really my friends, but it makes me feel special to insinuate I have fans. Ok, I didn't insinuate, I said it) what they would find interesting to read about our lives here. 

I read the responses. Really I did. But today isn't a day to write about the fascinating little bits about living in a 3rd-world-country. Now's not the time to share the darling little habits my neighbors - and all the coastlanders in Guyana - have. 

No, today is a day to lament and cry a little.

But just a little.

Today, for the first time, I wanted to go home. "Home"  as in the USA. We normally don't use the word "home" in reference to the States, because Guyana is our home now. But today it's feeling less like home and more like… hard. 

There is nothing earth shattering about my struggles here. Honestly, they'd probably follow me to the US if I decided to tuck my tail and whimper back to Oregon. I'm honest enough with myself to realize that. 

And I don't want to go back to Oregon. As much as I love it (shout out to the Pacific North West!), I have no desire whatsoever to live in the US. This summer on furlough over and over I heard, "Wow, you're so brave to raise your children in a place like that!" To which I reply, "I think families have to be brave to raise their children in the US!" 

And I'm not that brave. 

Raising children here isn't really all that different. These's just less secret chocolate for those moments when I need to hide in the bathroom and breathe deeply. There's a lot less STUFF. Toys, clothes, junk. My children have exactly 3 sets of toys (wooden blocks, kitchen toys, and cars) and a few other random toys. Oh yeah, good ol' Mr. Potato Head made the flight too. 

There's also a lot fewer modern conveniences here too. Things like take out, one-stop-shopping, and 24/7 electricity. 

Add in mosquitoes, 90 degree heat daily, no storage or organization in my house, and the result is Mrs. Grumpypants. Sigh. 

Tomorrow - or later this week - I'll start sharing more about our lives here. Tonight, I'm going to crawl into bed under the big net and read until sleep takes me away.