meet mama

Here's what you should know about me:

1. I'm a missionary pilot's wife living in Guyana, South America.

2. I have have 2 rather horrible birth experiences. To make up for it, I have 2 rather delightful children. 

3. When I was about 17, the boy I was dating told me he loved me, I responded with, "Aw… I think you're swell too." It didn't last.

4. I'm really bad a remembering things.

5. Among the most frighting moments of my life are: when I was swept out to open sea while snorkeling, when our village was struck by lightening, and the 800 times I was nearly trapped in elevators where there isn't enough air and I was going to die. 



6. Other things that terrify me (even just thinking about) include: being trapped in a burning house, fireworks, and ball pits. 



7. My grandmother once sent us cooked cabbage soup from Ohio to Washington via the United States Postal Service. I remember well the look on the mail-lady's face when she delivered it after 5 days of bouncing around post offices and mail trucks. The container had leaked, the soup had gone rancid, and the smell was horrible. I'm pretty sure this is the incident that led to the mandatory question, "Is there anything liquid or perishable?" when you mail a package. 



8. I have had 6 surgeries so far. When I was 10 I was in the hospital so long I got mail and had to do school there. I have had to learn how to walk 4 times and have spent around a year of my life in physical therapy. I've never broken a bone. 



9. I can't: roll my r's or my tongue, remember where my phone is at any given time, or hold my bladder. I can: swim a mile without stopping, talk myself out of hiccups, and take a shower in 2 minutes. 



10. I fancy myself a pretty good cook - but up until August of 2012 I couldn't boil an egg without calling my father-in-law for instructions. Today, I make wonderful bread, tortillas, brownies and a myriad of other foods from scratch. 

11. I love math. I considered being a math major. I got A's in every math class except for one B (it was my first one in 8 years and I tried an independent study class which I didn't enjoy). My last math class was calculus. I have 3 college degrees and graduated with honors with each one. I would be a professional student if the job existed. (It's ok, I know I'm a nerd.)



12. Other dream jobs include: food taster, dog trainer, middle-school math teacher, writer, photographer, and what I'm doing right now - a missionary mama doing promotions for small projects. It's true, I am kinda living my dream. Only in my dream I have a maid. In life I am the maid. 



13. I consider it an abomination to eat lunch without fruit and supper without a vegetable. 

14. Sometimes having an imaginary cooking show is the only thing motivating me to cook. Gotta keep the ratings up. 



15. I would never want to admit how many sweets I really eat. If it were healthy, I could easily live on sweets, fruit, popcorn and potatoes. Thank the Lord I have a family to keep me accountable to eat all that other stuff (you know, like vegetables and stuff).